God hates divorce.
A few reminders before we begin…
All the words of my mouth [are] with righteousness;
Nothing crooked or perverse [is] in them.
They [are] all plain to him who understands,
And right to those who find knowledge.
(Proverbs 8:8-9 NKJV)
Do not add to His words,
Lest He rebuke you, and you be found a liar.
(Proverbs 30:6 NKJV)
This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
(Ephesians 4:17-19 NKJV)
“If a man makes a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
(Numbers 30:2 NKJV)
“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
(Matthew 5:37 NKJV)
But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and [your] “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment.
(James 5:12 NKJV)
The Position
God hates divorce.
Being divorced does not entitle you to seek marriage with another spouse (i.e. remarriage).
Argument 1: Covenant-Breaking
If you are (or have been) married you made a covenant to your spouse.
You promised “until death do us part.”
It was a unilateral covenant before God.
There were no conditions.
It was not “until divorce do us part.”
If your spouse is not literally and physically dead, getting remarried is adultery.
(You’ll notice there is no asterisk on the above statement.)
If you made a promise to your spouse with no escape clause except for death, and then marry someone else, you are a covenant-breaker and a liar.
If you disagree, you have multiple questions that you must answer.
- When did the individual’s marriage vow to his or her spouse change to include an escape clause?
- Why does God repeatedly call marriage to a divorced person adultery?
- Why did the disciples panic when Jesus corrected the Pharisees on the nature of marriage in Matthew 19?
Remarriage is only permissible for the follower of Christ under exactly one circumstance: your spouse is literally dead.
Argument 2: One Flesh and Scripture
“We must always check our interpretation of an unclear passage against the truth taught in more clear passages.” (Answers Bible Curriculum, Unit 16, Lesson 151)
Unambiguously Clear Scripture
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
(Genesis 2:24 NKJV)
“You shall not commit adultery.”
(Exodus 20:14 NKJV)
‘The man who commits adultery with [another] man’s wife, [he] who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.
(Leviticus 20:10 NKJV)
Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;
He who does so destroys his own soul.
(Proverbs 6:32 NKJV)
“For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
(Malachi 2:16 NKJV)
“But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.”
(Matthew 5:32 NKJV)
Note: If a wife commits adultery, and the husband divorces her for her adultery, he cannot cause her to commit adultery by the divorce since she has already committed adultery. If a husband divorces his wife for any other reason, he causes his wife to commit adultery.
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made [them] at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
(Matthew 19:4-6 NKJV)
So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.
“And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
(Mark 10:11-12 NKJV)
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from [her] husband commits adultery.
(Luke 16:18 NKJV)
For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
(Romans 7:2-3 NKJV)
Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
(1 Corinthians 7:10-13 NKJV)
A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 7:39 NKJV)
These twelve passages are extremely clear regarding God’s design for marriage and His view of divorce. If this were the only revelation we were given from God about the nature of divorce and remarriage, there would be no questions. Marriage, designed by God, results in a one flesh union between a man and a woman. God hates divorce. Remarriage is only allowed after a spouse has physically died.
The “Problem” Passage
There is only one passage that begets contention in its interpretation. And for some reason it is used to reinterpret all the rest of the Bible’s clear teaching regarding marriage and divorce: the “Exception Clause” of Matthew 19.
The Pharisees Attempt to Test Jesus (Matthew 19)
Matthew 19:3-12 NKJV -
3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for [just] any reason?”
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made [them] at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with [his] wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only [those] to whom it has been given:
12 “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from [their] mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept [it], let him accept [it].”
The Context
As we walk through Matthew 19 do not forget who Jesus is speaking to in this passage. Pharisees who reject Jesus as the Messiah. Pharisees who reject Jesus’ authority over the law. Pharisees who are trying to test Jesus in order to credibly prosecute Him. Matthew records this encounter in his gospel that highlights Jesus as the promised Messiah and King of Jews. Matthew writes this gospel primarily for a Jewish audience - an audience that knew the Law and the Prophets.
A Retelling
Pharisees: (We can get Jesus, hehehe!) Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?
Jesus: Absolutely not. What God joined together, let not man separate.
Pharisees: But Moses commanded it.
Jesus: No, he didn’t. Divorce was permitted in very limited circumstances because Israel is a sinful, rebellious people (in all ways, not just marriage). God’s pattern is marriage for life. If you get divorced, you can’t remarry without committing adultery. In any case, you can’t pretend that your marriage (and your covenant vow) didn’t happen.
Disciples: If marriage is for life unconditionally and the marriage vow is permanent it’s better not to marry! There’s no recourse or redo if sin messes it up!
Jesus: Some are single because of birth defects. Some are single not of their own choice but because of other men’s sin (physical mutilation or divorce). Some are single for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. My followers will accept the state that I place them in.
The Discussion
What’s the problem? Let’s walk through it.
Verses 4-6 clearly indicate that Jesus expected the Pharisees to read and understand the Scriptures. And the Scriptures state that God made them male and female and that marriage makes them one flesh, not to be separated. End of discussion.
Verse 7 recounts the springing of the Pharisees trap: “But Moses commanded divorce!”
In verse 8 Jesus corrects the Pharisees (“No, Moses never commanded…”) and affirms that in the Deuteronomy 24 case law description divorce was permitted by Moses. Notice that Jesus did not say that Moses permitted remarriage after divorce. (Nor can that be assumed - Deuteronomy 24 doesn’t allow it.) Furthermore, Jesus declares that divorce was only permitted in that instance because of Israel’s rebellious, sinful hearts.
In verse 9 Jesus states the husband who divorces his wife for any reason other than adultery and marries another commits adultery. Don’t hear what Jesus isn’t saying. Jesus’ statement says nothing about the husband who divorces an adulterous wife. Jesus is not approving remarriage for a divorce predicated on adultery. Jesus is not approving remarriage. He is denying divorce is permitted for anything other than adultery. To read approval for remarriage into the text is to add to God’s Word. NO OTHER SCRIPTURE EVEN HINTS AT THIS KIND OF APPROVAL. (See above.) Matthew 19 is the only passage that can be possibly twisted to support that (contested) interpretation. Jesus clearly states that God joined the husband and wife together (v. 6). Jesus is refuting the Pharisees’ wrong view of marriage. The Pharisees were asking about divorce to test Jesus. It appears the Pharisees taught that if a husband divorced his wife he could get remarried. The Pharisees believed a divorce made the reality of the previous marriage “disappear.” Jesus refutes their view of marriage - and shocks His disciples as He does so. However, we know Jesus did clearly address remarriage in Luke 16 and Mark 10: Whoever divorces his wife (for whatever reason - Jesus doesn’t specify) and marries another commits adultery. Whoever marries a divorced wife (for whatever reason - Jesus doesn’t specify) commits adultery (Luke 16, Mark 10, & Matthew 5).
Verse 8 (“but from the beginning it was not so”) and verse 9b (“and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery”) contradict the interpretion of verse 9a that says it’s okay to get remarried if a divorce was a result of sexual immorality. Let the context and let the rest of Scripture drive your interpretation of this contested passage of Scripture. You cannot permit a single phrase to color the rest of Scripture when there is a viable interpretation of the phrase that does not do violence to the clear meaning of the rest of Scripture. Jesus is denying divorce is permitted for anything other than adultery.
Verse 10 shows that the disciples are shocked. Why are they shocked? They believed the Law and the Prophets. Jesus just refuted the conservative view of marriage. The conservative view of the Pharisees was that if you divorced you could get remarried. Jesus says no - what God has joined together, let not man separate. The disciples realized there are no do-overs in marriage. You can get divorced in the case of adultery (though someone who does not have a hard heart will avoid it) but there is no option for remarriage. Marriage is a lifelong covenant, broken only by death. All of Scripture testifies to that reality.
As soon as you say, “Well, it was assumed that remarriage was always permissable after divorce” you undermine your own interpretation of Scripture and make it an interpretation of man. Where does the text of God’s Word say that? Show it to be true in the Word of God! Build your case from the text. I, for one, do not want to add to God’s words. Remarriage after divorce is rebellion against God’s created order.
The Grammar
The construction of Jesus’ words also sheds light on the proper interpretation. The phrase in question “except for sexual immorality” follows (and thus refers only to) the phrase “whoever divorces his wife.” It doesn’t follow the hypothetical phrase “whoever divorces his wife and marries another.” By this the Savior indicates that divorce for adultery is permitted (though not commanded or required). If Jesus had said “whoever divorces his wife and marries another, except for sexual immorality, commits adultery,” He would have acknowledged the option to remarry in the case of immorality of the first marriage. But that’s not what the Creator of marriage states. The so-called “Exception Clause” is tied only to divorce by virtue of the grammar of Christ’s statement (and all translations render it as such). Christ acknowledges the option of divorce within rebellious, covenant-breaking marriages as He is stepping out of the Pharisees’ trap they thought they had set for Him in the Mosaic law. But Jesus clearly refutes their interpretation. Divorce is only an option in the case of sexual immorality. Remarriage (apart from a spouse’s death) is never given sanction by Christ.
The Example of God
The faithful believer will seek to reflect the character of God. Another argument for a life-long marriage covenant is pictured by God’s actions toward the northern nation of Israel.
“Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also.
Jeremiah 3:8 NKJV
‘For behold, the days are coming,’ says the LORD, ’that I will bring back from captivity My people Israel and Judah,’ says the LORD. ‘And I will cause them to return to the land that I gave to their fathers, and they shall possess it.’ "
(Jeremiah 30:3 NKJV)
Jeremiah pictures God issuing the northern nation of Israel a certificate of divorce (Jeremiah 3:8 KNJV) as evidenced by the Assyrian captivity. However God doesn’t treat that certificate as proof of an eternal separation. God promises to bring Israel back to Himself throughout the book of Jeremiah and the rest of the prophets. God used His “divorce” (captivity) as a means of effecting reconciliation between Himself and His chosen people. Accordingly, if divorce is utilized, the pattern God shows us is that it is used as a means of reconciliation. The reconcilation of divorced Israel is still in the future - and yet God is still faithful to His covenants and promises.
The Conclusion
Whether you are the one divorced or your intended spouse is a divorcee, if you marry you will commit adultery. There is no exception. To claim that Jesus (and the Mosaic law and the creation purpose of God) permits remarriage while a spouse is alive is to adopt the very same position the Pharisees held and thought they could trip Jesus up with. Those who hold such a position ignore the rest of God’s Word to their peril and add man’s rebellious twisting of marriage to what He has spoken.
No Spirit-filled husband will divorce his wife or get remarried while his wife is still alive. No Spirit-filled wife will get remarried while her husband is alive.
Believers are called to represent God - Who always keeps His promises. Let the world see God in you by keeping your covenant.
For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save [your] husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save [your] wife?
(1 Corinthians 7:16 NKJV)